the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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