Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
All I want is dick and wine.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
