I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize