She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
