i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
