Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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