He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
