I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
