Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I want to make a zoo with you.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
areolas are like halos for boobs.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
