o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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