The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
are you so shy because you have an std?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
