I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
