he looks like a really good dad on facebook
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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