an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
