Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You may now shotgun with the bride
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize