I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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