normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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