Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
