Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize