My brain says no but my pants say off.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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