Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
