I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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