PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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