New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
