She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
