Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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