I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
