Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
