i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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