i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
