He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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