After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
