How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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