Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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