I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
