it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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