I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
