ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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