Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
