I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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