I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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