I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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