I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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