im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
