I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
