so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
