nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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