You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
