D3 body, D1 cock
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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