Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
