Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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