Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
