i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's blow job season.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
