He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
