You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
