sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
