thus making me awesome and them whores
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize