I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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