whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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