So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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