Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize