In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize