Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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